Default Re: Jokes: A little light distraction!
While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: ‘I’ve got bad news for you ---you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.’
The man looks a little perplexed and says: ‘Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.’
The doctor answers: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.’
The man screams in horror, ‘Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.’
The doctor replies: ‘Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.’
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: ‘Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely lare disease.’
The guy says to the doctor: ‘Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!’
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: ‘Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!’
Oh, thank goodness!’ the man replies.
‘Yes,’ says the Chinese doctor, ‘You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!’

Mi Amigo Jurdyr,

This is even funnier!!

Today I have read in El Pais - Telefonica are going to double the ADSL speed in the summer!!

How ?? Will data move faster in the heat?

ha ha............

A little light distraction!
One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street when a car
Pulled up beside him and the window was wound down.

‘I’ll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car’, said the male driver.

‘No way, get stuffed’, replied the boy.

How about a bag of lollies and £10?’ asked the driver?

‘No way’, replied the irritated youngster.

‘What about a bag of lollies and FIFTY quid, eh’? Quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly

to keep up with the walking boy.

‘No, I’m not getting in the ******* car!’ answered the boy.

‘OK, I know what you want - I’ll give you £100 and a bag of lollies’, the driver offered.

‘NO,’ screamed the boy.

‘What will it take to get you into the car’? Asked the driver with a long sigh.

The boy replied: ‘Listen Dad, you bought the Skoda - you live with it!’

Man sues JetBlue for making him sit on toilet (now whos going to spend a penny )

NEW YORK (AP) - A New York City man is suing JetBlue Airways Corp. for more than Euros 1.3 million because he says a pilot made him give up his seat to a flight attendant and sit on the toilet for more than three hours on a flight from California.

Gokhan Mutlu, of Manhattan’s Inwood section, says in court papers the pilot told him to “go ‘hang out’ in the bathroom” about 90 minutes into the San Diego to New York flight because the flight attendant complained that the “jump seat” she was assigned was uncomfortable, the lawsuit said.

Mutlu was traveling on a a “buddy pass,” a standby travel voucher that JetBlue employees give to friends, from New York to San Diego on Feb. 16, and returned to New York on Feb. 23, the lawsuit said.

Initially, Mutlu was told a flight attendant had taken the last seat on the plane, but then he was advised she would sit in the employee “jump seat,” meaning he could have the last seat, the lawsuit said.

The pilot told him 1 1/2 hours into the five-hour flight that he would have to relinquish the seat to the flight attendant, court papers say. But the pilot said that Mutlu could not sit in the jump seat because only JetBlue employees were permitted to sit there, the lawsuit said.

When Mutlu expressed reluctance to go sit in the bathroom, the pilot, who was not named in the lawsuit, told him that “he was the pilot, that this was his plane, under his command that (Mutlu) should be grateful for being on board,” the lawsuit said.

The aircraft hit turbulence and passengers were directed to return to their seats, but “the plaintiff had no seat to return to, sitting on a toilet stool with no seat belts,” court papers say.

Some time later, a male flight attendant knocked on the restroom door and told Mutlu he could return to his original seat, court papers say.

Mutlu’s lawsuit, filed Friday in Manhattan’s state Supreme Court, says JetBlue negligently endangered him by not providing him with a seat with a safety belt or harness, in violation of federal law.

A JetBlue spokesman declined comment on the lawsuit Monday.

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=zqfFrCUrEbY
have a look