Been here just a year now and seriously considering returning to good old Blighty as I feel completely isolated and fear I may become an alcoholic as for my daughter well words fail me and my husband bless him does nothing but try all i want is a job to be quite honest but lack of fluency and confidence with the spanish language or the other way round holds me back my expertise is in administration so no chance there and I really don’t fancy a bar job as it wouldn’t be worth the petrol. I live inland too inland to be quite honest anybody feel the same or can convince me tht i could have a life Big Bev
hi bev, ive bought a house inland that needs modernisation so wont be moving for a good while yet, so cant give u much advice although ive heard a few folk saying it takes them a few years to really integrate due to language barriers etc, i would stick it out, just yourself a time frame of another year/18 months and try to socialise and pick up the lingo, avoid the english places if you can to force yourself to use spanish im sure you will soon pick it up well, and dont be unconfident using it, everyone is same and had to start somewhere i just started a spanish class and feel stupid trying to sound spanish, once you got good grasp of the language then u will have a wider range of job opportunities, if it doesnt work out in your time scale then think about going home, but at least give it a good try, loads of people get down at times and feel isolated without the family and friends they were used to having around. Good Luck
Hi there Bev. basically i would listen to what Andymc wrote above! I really think you should try and see it through, because understandably its not easy to move out there and everything fall into place. Because lets face it, nothings easy in life!
But the thing is, you need to think about your future too!
What I think you should do, Is sit the family down and Discuss whats actually going on and come up with a game plan! and maybe try and explain to your daughter the consiquences if shes not doing as shes told (sorry, i take it from what you wrote shes not doing as shes told, sorry i maybe wrong)
Maybe look at moving to another part eg…........more busy, or a place which offers more job oppertunitys? not sure what your situation is….............?
your Question includes “considering moving back….......am i mad” my answer to that is, Yes, you are mad 😊 lol.
I mean moving back to england would be easy i suppose and i see where your coming from because then you wouldnt have to worry about the language side of things….......but what you need to consider is…........do you want to go back to a country where you constantly work, as i call it “rat race”. there are all other issues haha! not that the grass is always greener on the other side but its got to be a Damn sight greener than here! (lol not litrally)
Im being constantly reminded by my college lecturers and even got told by the woman in the tax office that theres nothing for us youths here anymore ( when i was picking up my “Leaving the Uk” tax form 😊 )
To be honest id rather sweep the floor if it means im not in this country anymore ( lol )
I think if you could learn the spanish, your laughing! imagine all the different Job Prospects if you know spanish.
really hope ive helped. If you need people to chat to about it we’r all here for you!
ow and the best person to ask is “The Expatriator” ...........absolute Genuis lol!
Well you’ve definitely given me food for thought and truth be known it isn’t just a case of me getting a job,but it would obviously help build my confidence and give us more options, but to cover our mortgage which I have to say is quite hefty now the interest rate has gone up and based on my husband getting consistent work we really don’t know if we can maintain living here. Ideally if we could sell our property like we could in the UK fairly quickly and get our money back we could down size and give it more time but I think we all know property doesn’t sell that quickly in Spain. We are thinking along the lines of renting it out though so that we still have a foot hold here and returning to the UK on the basis of working saving and my daughter finishing her education. That was my other issue wasn’t it my daughter has become quite hard work just based on the lifestyle over here which is fine I think if the kids a re primary school age but teenagers that is a different thing she stays out till late (early hrs of the morning) because that is what everyone else does so if I should God forbid say no you have to be in by a certain time I would be the weirdest mother going as everyone else stays out 😕
As for her education the only thing she is learning is Spanish which is a good thing I realise that but she will need more than that to get a job methinks. She is attending a state school and there is no discipline and a lot of bullying we aren’t in a position to pay for private and to be quite honest I’ve never really approved of that. She has always done well at school but that has gone down the pan after seeing what everybody gets away with she would rather run with that and blend than stick out like a sore thumb and get bullied
Anyway enough of my dilemma whatever happened and regardless of the negative experiences I have had I have actually believe it or not enjoyed my life here and don’t relish the though of returning but needs must and thanks for all your advice
A friend of ours has had exactly the same problem with her daughter.
She sat around and thought she was crazy, untill she talked to other mothers to find out they had the same problem.
Culture is changing fast among young people here, family is not the first thing anymore. Even spanish families suffer the way you do. Stand your ground, who ever said raising a child was easy. From what i have heard about britain the same thing is happening there for years.
The house (size/cost)... Sounds like you tried to place your uk residence in spain. Houses are expensive here. People live smaller here for that reason. and what do you really need? Just make sure you have a big terrace.
The house (location)... You went the hard way. Being in a more tourist orientated area would:
a) Make spanish people more open to foreigners
b) Make it easier for you to find a job. (Even with only very basic spanish)
c) Make you feel less of a loner. I am not saying you should only socialize with expats, but a mix would make for less of a culture shock.
Sell the house, make sure you don?t loose too much and move to above mentioned. Going back would mean you have to go through the whole process the other way round.
Can only reiterate what young Luke has said really, wise words young man!!! Going back is futile. We have two teenage girls, our 18 year is still with us but the older one in UK at Uni, which is fine, but when they first came to Spain, Barcelona at the time, I was petrified of them going out and not getting back until 7.00am, I was frantic, phoning all the time, but once you get used to the cultural thing, believe me, I feel much happier about them going out here till the early hours than going out in the UK until 1.00!!! Always on the phone to my eldest, bless her, soppy mum!!! We moved to Granada last October and our 18 year came with us and it has taken her til now to find friends and socialise (unless I missed it in your posts, where are you living at the mo inland?). As for going back to UK, forget it, what a nightmare….for me, even on bad days, chaotic mad days (oh yeah, also have two much smaller children 2 and 1, crazy I know) I would never dream of going back to UK…we have been in Spain for over three years and it does get easier, believe me!! Don?t give up, you are living the dream!!
Can only reiterate what young Luke has said really, wise words young man!!! Going back is futile. We have two teenage girls, our 18 year is still with us but the older one in UK at Uni, which is fine, but when they first came to Spain, Barcelona at the time, I was petrified of them going out and not getting back until 7.00am, I was frantic, phoning all the time, but once you get used to the cultural thing, believe me, I feel much happier about them going out here till the early hours than going out in the UK until 1.00!!! Always on the phone to my eldest, bless her, soppy mum!!! We moved to Granada last October and our 18 year came with us and it has taken her til now to find friends and socialise (unless I missed it in your posts, where are you living at the mo inland?). As for going back to UK, forget it, what a nightmare….for me, even on bad days, chaotic mad days (oh yeah, also have two much smaller children 2 and 1, crazy I know) I would never dream of going back to UK…we have been in Spain for over three years and it does get easier, believe me!! Don?t give up, you are living the dream!!
I have to say I really have been surprised by the positive response I have had with regards to staying here in Spain its really quite enlightening shame you don’t get that in the UK. People normally wave you off and say good luck to you of you go.
more positivity the better as it has helped me to deal with a few issues I’ve even come up with the idea of renting this villa out and renting something smaller as you suggest near the coast. We have worked out our monthly bills mortgage including utility bills to be approx ?900 a month that isn’t including petrol and groceries so if we could rent something smaller maybe our utilities wouldn’t be so high which, I have to say have taken me by supprise the utility bills we were told when we first looked around in Spain and tried the Costa de la Luz that the utilities were almost 50% cheaper so I really don’t know what happened there.
We are based in the Hondon Valley 30 minutes from Alicante airport and 20 minutes from Elche. I really do appreciate all your advice and I now have to relay all this back to my hubby to give him hope wish me luck
All the best Big Bev
Yer because we all Know what the UK is like. and its pleasing that you sat down and taken our advise and try to resolve the very Minor problem you have ( trying to stay positive )
Another good way of looking at Things is Looking at The Positive out of something thats gone wrong/ Problem that we are dealing with.
I really think you can do well and i really Hope that you do well. and as i said before We are all here for you if you need us!
same as If i had a problem i hope that people will give me advise because im still young and im bound to need advice when ive moved :D
Ah And good luck with talking to your husband about the plan :D
Luke without a doubt you have been quite inspirational and you haven’t even come over here yet or have you good luck to you when you have. This forum is the best i wish it had found it sooner. onwards and upwards (i hope)
Luke without a doubt you have been quite inspirational and you haven’t even come over here yet or have you good luck to you when you have. This forum is the best i wish it had found it sooner. onwards and upwards (i hope)
Big Bev
Not a Problem, Just glad to help out. Got alot of things on my chest about this things in england etc. Nice to get them off my chest hehe. Just wierd im young and im already wanting to get away from England 😉
No im not over there yet, im flying out sunday. my mum lives there and ive been going spain quite alot and I know how it is over there…..................and often been seriously Jelous of how there lifestyle is there! Theres More to Life then Working you nuts off!
Hope it does goes well for you, and if you look positivly it WILL go well for you!
Luke, my daughter would love you!!! Again wise man, young shoulders!! Bev, wish you all the best, you?re not alone and things will all work out for the good….as I can see!
Loads of the best of the best and let us know how things go!
Luke, my daughter would love you!!! Again wise man, young shoulders!! Bev, wish you all the best, you?re not alone and things will all work out for the good….as I can see!
Loads of the best of the best and let us know how things go!
Tara for now
Alicia
ha, Really, whys that then? 😊
aligran - 09 October 2007 08:57 PM
Luke, my daughter would love you!!! Again wise man, young shoulders!! Bev, wish you all the best, you?re not alone and things will all work out for the good….as I can see!
Loads of the best of the best and let us know how things go!
If you are still here Bev (and hope you are!). I left the Uk for all the RIGHT reasons.. and it would be so hard for me to go back (I have even told my father not to take me back in a box .. and to be scattered here when the day comes!)...
I hope you have resolved your family/financial issues. I don’t know if I am right about this.. as I live a cosy ‘English orientated’ life on the Costa del Sol… but perhaps your location is partly contributory to your isolation/feeling out of sorts? (I know I considered moving just 20 miles down the coast to Estepona, but quickly changed my mind as I feel so comfortable here). I also have (as good as they can be - lots of competition for any English speaking job).... good job opprotunities here.
If you are still here Bev, and are still looking for work.. just pm me and I will tell you what I am doing to make ends meet (It is totally legal!! and no funny business!!!!)... 😊
Take care - and to all of you who love living here too. (This is my 8th year - and no regrets!).
Well what can I say to anyone that cares I actually made the journey back to the Uk and am I regretting it well yeah just a bit if you want to know what has happened I’ll fill you in :roll:
