Dating in Spain

Information about dating in Spain, including online dating sites, dating ideas, relationships, and insight into the dating scene in Spain.

You’ve done it: you’re an expat in Spain. You got the job, the house, the lifestyle… now who to share it with? You know it gets lonely during those cool January nights. You want to be holding hands and taking walks by the beach. You want to be that couple making out on the Metro. Those Spaniards are looking good, and you want a piece of the action! This is your guide to dating in Spain, by and for expats in Spain.

Really though, it can be very lonely in a new country. It’s a new culture, a new experience, and sure, maybe you have a few friends, but I heard a good line once, “I’m just so bored of wasting my time; love and death are always on my mind.” Maybe an exaggeration, but obviously there’s some truth to it. So what of it? What can you do? If you’re single now and/or been single for a while, obviously it’s time to look at a little strategy.

So, a strategy for love in Spain; let’s start with your goals. Do you want a little snoggin’, a little companionship, a friend, a lover, or even a spouse? Some people are definitely looking to get hitched, despite the divorce rate these days (which, is coincidentally only 17% in Spain compared to over 50% in the UK , USA , Canada and Australia). Maybe you’re in it for the Spanish passport?

Picture this for a moment: you’re having a drink at the local establishment, a gorgeous Spaniard walks into the room… what do you do? (don’t forget: Spain is ranked second last in the EU with their English skills) It’s tough to introduce yourself and meet people in your home country, let alone in your new country. How does an expat get a date with a Spaniard?

First, work on your Spanish skills. This is essential, not only for dating, but for finding work and practically everything else here. Second, be fashionable. I know this sounds bad, but this is continental Europe , and Spain is one of the world’s fashion capitals. The Spanish are good at looking good. Don’t feel like you have to change yourself or your image; you’re foreign and that will get you far. Just keep the fashion thing in mind - indulge in a little shopping on some of the fantastic high streets and shops.

Third, and possibly most important, keep a sense of humour. It’s not hard; the first time you try talking to a Spaniard, you realize just how gaping the language gap can be. As things progress you’ll find yourselves laughing at each other before you can ever get angry.

Let’s say you want to skip the first step, or, perhaps you’re improving your Spanish and building up the courage to make that first contact, or, maybe you want to get into the expat dating scene: consider taking your browser over to an online dating site. Clichés aside, they’re cool these days, everyone seems to be doing it (whether or not they admit it), and as an expat without Spanish, it’s just a good idea. There are tonnes of them out there, but there are several that focus on the expat dating scene in Spain. Perfect no? We’ve linked to some of them here.

Word of warning: they’re so good they’re addictive. And because they’re addictive, you’ll find yourself indulging in a few too many hours. But hey, it’s in the name of love!

So, if you’re new to the online dating arena, you might as well do it proper from the get-go. When you initially sign up, you’ll be required to enter a few details about yourself. This is your profile; those looking for someone like you will see this – it’s important. A few suggestions:

• Always post a photo of yourself - a good one. Doctor it in Photoshop if you need to (or have a friend do it). We’re all beautiful people in real life anyway, not always photogenic.
• On whereheartsmeet.com, for example, you are asked for your Interests/Sports/Hobbies. Think fancifully, creatively and emphasize what you really want to do , not just what you do.
• Do you have a split personality? Maybe you’re a Gemini? Let it all come out.
• When you’re filling in the fields, think about what makes you different. Express your passions, use examples that people can identify with. Are you a David Bowie junkie?
• You have time: no need for quick wit, just wit.
• You can always go back to fix and dress up your profile later. This is a good thing to do every once in a while.

Next, search the database by filling in the “criteria” you’re looking for. Browse the photos and self-descriptions (now you can see why these are so important) until you find someone who piques your interest. This brings us to the next step, which can be a little tricky.

Talk to them. I believe you have to have purchased a membership to do this, but after you’ve found that one that you just have to talk to, you’ll be taking out a full membership anyway. So, as a full member, you can chat with them online or send them an email. This is great news. Why? Because, again, you need wit, but not quick wit, and this is much easier to type than to have in-person for us shy guys and gals. If you’re not shy: great. Send them something that reflects why you’re interested in them, hopefully nothing to do with how good they look in their picture. Stick to their interests, say something coy, and ask for a response. Quote poetry if you want, but avoid being cheesy. Also, if they’re Spanish and your Spanish isn’t great, use a translation tool to find just the right words.

So, a few notes back and forth, a few online chats, and you’re ready to meet them in person. Invite them out for a coffee/drink/whatever suits the two of you. Hopefully it goes well and you move onto date #2.

A word about date #2, #3, and the rest of them; don’t even think about the typical “dinner and a movie” dates in Spain. That’s home-country thinking. Here in Spain we go out to the local Roman/Arab ruins, we go for drives along the coast, we do nude beaches, we sip multiple coffees for hours at quaint little cafes overlooked by huge Cathedrals overlooking beautiful vistas of the Mediterranean. Oh yeah: and the parties last days, not evenings. Maybe you’ve heard of Ibiza?

If you’ve made it this far then you’re beyond the scope of this article. Enjoy it, savour it, and make it last a lifetime.

Last updated 05 06 2009

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